exercise, he revealed that he left to fight a losing battle to give
his father with Alzheimer’s dignity. Half the group started to
cry and asked why he hadn’t told them. He said, “We don’t talk
about such things here.”
Following that, another man said that during the same period,
he used to leave at 3: 30 in the afternoon and people would say
the same thing about going to see his mistress. His confession
was that he was going to get treatment for a blood cancer that
is incurable, but was currently in remission. More of the men
started to cry and asked him why he hadn’t told them, and he
said, “Just like Joe said, we don’t talk about such things.”
After this exercise, the people in this group never viewed each
other in the same way again. Instead of seeing each other as
chess pieces that either helped or thwarted them, they each
felt they belonged to an elite team
of special human beings who were
strong, who persevered through
extreme adversity, and who did the
right thing under times of extreme
stress. They felt honored to be in
such a group.
Similarly, our friend Mark Lefko
- whose roles include serving as a
troubleshooter for forum groups of
the Young President’s Organization
(YPO) that experience difficulties
adds value by getting people to
come together, communicate
openly, and share problems, fears,
concerns, and vulnerabilities.
He says, “Often the individuals in
these groups are used to being the decision maker, the authority
figure, the person in charge. But they eventually come to see
there is a lot of power in coming together. Many times they
don’t realize that the issue they have is widely shared, whether
it’s about an employee that’s a risk to their company, or a
problem with their children, or a mistake they made that they
deeply regret.”
He adds, “Whatever the challenges and opportunities might
be, it’s about being supportive of one another, validating one
another, offering insights and perspectives and advice. When
one member has an issue, we pull the issue into the group, and
everyone learns and gains.”
ADDING PRACTICAL VALUE
Meredith Blake is a nationally recognized attorney and social
entrepreneur. Currently, she’s the CEO of ProSocial, an
innovative agency working with influencers to create social
change movements. Among her achievements was designing
the social action campaign that accompanied the release of An
Inconvenient Truth, the Oscar-winning documentary by former
Vice President Al Gore.
The film was released the same week that Meredith’s first son
was born. “Becoming a parent caused me to move from being
self-focused to becoming much more selfless,” she says. “Long
before they could speak, my children were teaching me how to
strive to reach my potential.”
Meredith’s desire to keep growing after becoming a parent
put her in a unique position to add significant value when the
team at Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen’s Vulcan Productions
approached her firm with an idea for a PBS series on mental
health and emotional wellness. Allen was committed to making
a difference with this project, but he didn’t know how to create
the most positive influence.
Meredith found that point of focus
in early childhood attachment. She
says, “I was brought up during the era
when many were following the tenets
of Dr. Spock, who said that children
were being manipulative when they
cried, and you shouldn’t pick them
up. It turns out that’s wrong. It makes
them think they can’t count on you.
Instead, children need to create a
secure base in a primary relationship
in order to gain more stability and
independence. The first relationships in
life influence everything else. The first
eighteen months influence how neural
pathways are laid out in the brain,
and are extraordinarily important for
mental health and well-being.”Working
with Vulcan Productions and PBS,
But Meredith had an idea for doing more. “I have two
children,” she says, “and when I was pregnant and giving birth,
I didn’t hear anything about the importance of attachment. In
the hospital I was given a nylon bag with coupons for infant
formula, but no information about how to create more secure
positive attachments in children. I’m in a high demographic.
How are people with even less resources going to find out what
to do?” She was especially concerned about the parents who
were the most strapped for cash and had the least time to spend
with their new babies.
To address this need, she helped develop a kit for parents called
“Early Moments Matter.” For families who can afford it, it
costs ten dollars per kit, and the revenue is used to generate
"WHATEVER THE
CHALLENGES AND
OPPORTUNITIES MIGHT
BE, IT'S ABOUT BEING
SUPPORTIVE OR ONE
ANOTHER, VALIDATING
ONE ANOTHER,
OFFERING INSIGHTS
AND PERSPECTIVE AND
ADVICE."
